Tuesday, August 20, 2013
For a very long time, I - blinded by my misplaced trust in doctors - have been managing my eczema using topical steroid. So long; I have forgotten how to live without these creams. So magical they were, I became enchanted, dependent and ultimately addicted to them. I lived believing that they would be, if not already, an integral part of my life - until most recently. I was convinced that my chronic eczema had been a protracted case of improper treatment and that the magical creams were but poison contaminating my system from within. I took that leap of faith and cease my dependence on those creams. I went cold turkey. A challenging, harrowing and painful succession of events cascaded, leaving me battered, despondent and forlorn. It was a journey into the upper echelons of hope and the lower echelons of despair. It was an emotional merry go round - Russian roulette of sorts.
179 days have since passed. I have braved through two major flares and am recovering. God knows when the third one will hit. Whatever, I have learnt to expect the worst but hope for the best. I took a year off school. And for the second time in my life I feel the world passing me. As I see my friends moving forward in life - starting university and making new friends - I am forced to retreat into my shadow, not by choice but by circumstance. I have to regress. May this be a necessary evil. One step backwards and two steps forward. I will bounce back more industrious and appreciative. I will be back.
For now I shall enjoy my respite. Both from the flare and from life. I am currently not schooling nor working and have an abundance of spare time in my hands. May the second half of this journey be less hostile so that I may better utilize these precious free periods which I will likely not have next year onwards.
I have so many wants. I want to go ice skating. I want to climb mountains. I want to play soccer. I want to get well. It is with an unwavering determination and a good faith - that come August next year - I will be healed and ready for school, so blood, itch and pus, I push on.
For now, the long waited match is starting! I have waited over 3 months for this moment. Manchester City take on Newcastle United at the Etihad Stadium. May Manchester City kick of this season with a resounding win! Off to the Etihad!
1:57 AM
