Quality time spent alone

Spent some quality time with myself today. It has been quite a while since I last went ice skating, and the thought of returning had always played on my mind. I finally turn thought into action and went to the ice rig this afternoon - for only the second time in my life. Gliding around the ice gave me some much needed respite from my current predicament. I am tired of learning French, and for once, I took it out of my mind, allowing my legs to bring me on a merry go round around the rig. I have to admit that after just two sessions - each four months apart - I can already skate quite decently. I am just good at sports and physical activities. I am born with good genes. I may not have the height but I definitely have the body. I remember telling my friends that I have the body worthy of a model's, and my sentiments haven't change one bit. Alas, God is fair, I have eczema. And over the years, I developed pigmentation all over my body. The latest episode of withdrawal blew my pigmentation out of proportion. I feel so disparaged and down to see the me in the mirror.

Things are just not letting up yet. I am still mired in this mudpool that is apparently unabashed about its relative longevity. When the going gets tough, looking beyond what we can see is tricky. Positivity and optimism become mere platitudes. This journey - its callous poundings - wears down even the toughest of armour. Though eventually something special malleates out. Something worthwhile. Until that something special comes along, getting there remains tough. I have many more days in this mudpool. 

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Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards."        

          - Soren Kierkegaard