Money can change the dynamics of a relationship, be it a friendship, kinship or a romantic relationship. I guess it is only human nature to be competitive and to want to win. It is difficult - almost inconceivable - to be genuinely happy for someone when something good befalls them. The greater that good, the harder it is to be happy for them. Unless, of course, if that person is special, like family member special, or maybe a really close friend (who has little material desire). Otherwise, I reckon it is tough. I understand that.  

I do have a few close groups of friends in my life, made in school - mainly secondary school. I treasure the friendship a lot. I am at a loss as to what to do to minimize disruption to the relationship. Not flaunting what I have is a definite starter - not that I flaunt. I really don't. It is not in my personality to do that. I realize that I have to be more aware and careful with my words. It would appear that harmless prattle is no longer appropriate and even inconvenient. Innocuous statements made by the old me, may -now- inadvertently offend. My choice of words, now more cognizant and filtered through, can no longer be carefree or careless. 

It is different now. I guess there is merit in keeping things quiet and inconspicuous. Not many people will truly celebrate you happiness anyway. Sharing only hurt others, unless it benefits them. Sharing of personal triumph ain't caring. Sharing of personal resources to help others is. I will continue to be generous to those that matter to me, to continue lying low and to continue doing good to the best of my abilities. Money is but a tool, a tool to be put into good use. 

To share happiness is to make people feel good about themselves, and not to make myself feel good. I will bear this in mind as I continue to learn from this experience and be a better son, lover, relative, friend and college. I am thankful for everything. I really am.

 27 months to freedom. The clock is ticking, I ain't hallucinating.