Yes I am. The more I learn about myself, the more I come to the realization that I freaking hate to lose. On the surface, I am neither flamboyant in demeanor nor ostentatious in deed. I shun open competition, and am antipathic to bragging and excessive boastfulness. My preference is to go about life with minimal fanfare. Acquiescent by default, I prioritize the avoidance of confrontation over the sharing and imposition of my views. Unless solicited, I rarely share my view nor offer suggestions. A pacifists, you could say. I guess I am simply too apathetic in dealing with things that simply doesn't matter. The need to have my perspective acknowledged by someone else, or accepted into another person's life - forcibly or not - holds little meaning for me.
But look inwards and the contrast is startling. I take pride in knowing that I am well ahead of the rest. That I am not jostling among the crowd for a slightly better opportunity and vantage point. I am out ahead in front, pressing on my advantage, relentlessly seeking to further the gap between myself and the hoard. I like the tranquility, solitude and peace out there in front. I would like to exclude myself from the norms of society. Extricate myself from any organizations and associations that I find no meaning in. To excuse myself from the trivialities and mundanity of life. To do as I see fit, and not as I am told to. Stay patient Eugene. Greener pastures and better days lie ahead.
